Help available for stressed parents

ELIZABETHTOWN | Parents who have been stressed by parenting over the past year can treat themselves to a free, weekly course sponsored by Essex County to help them regain their footing and understand that they are not alone in their struggles. "Any parent would benefit by going through one of these classes," said Alan Jones, executive director of the Adirondack Community Action Programs, Inc., which is presenting the suite of courses known broadly as Nurturing Parenting. The first course began April 7, but the program is funded for the coming four years, so other opportunities to sign up will arise throughout the coming months. The courses will address a variety of topics — the one starting May 6 focuses on parents of babies and small children — and as it progresses, the program will be offered in various locations around the county. Emma Jean Okusky, ACAP's parent training specialist, said parents will be able to develop strategies for dealing with common parenting issues, such as discipline and consistency, important elements in the raising of children. Parenting is a process and a growth experience, and "even if you think you have it all under control," there are elements open to improvement, she said. Essex County Mental Health Director Terri Morse, who said Nurturing Parenting might also be categorized as Surviving Parenting said the seeds of the program pre-dated the pandemic, but stresses of the past year make it particularly timely. "Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs anyone will ever have," she said. "This is not to tell anyone they're doing it wrong, it's to help parents gain more skills." The courses are one component of a larger puzzle being pieced together by multiple agencies to strengthen Essex County families, bringing confidence to parents and, in turn, greater opportunity to children and happier, more productive families in general. Stefanie Miller, coordinator for the Building Resilience in Essex Families (BRIEF) coalition, said the pandemic has added layers to an already stressful job, and that it's affected people of all social and economic strata. "As parents, we don't always like to admit we need help," she said. "But Covid has been the great leveler — we all need help." During the pandemic, parents have had to be teachers, teachers have had to parent their children while trying to teach classes, work has become less certain and child care more complex. Adults need to be aware of warning signs in their children and in themselves that there might be a need for "psychological first aid." Morse said warning signs that a family can use some support might include more frequently raised voices or emotionally checking out. Inconsistent sleep and a couple of extra glasses of wine can warn parents that their coping mechanisms are overheating, and, in children, parents should watch for symptoms such as anger, sadness, or declining academics. Essex County's goal overall is to make families more resilient to the bumps in life's road, and deal with problems before they reach the point of becoming a crisis. With BRIEF, it's put in place people who proactively recognize deteriorating family situations and steer those in need to the agency that can provide the right solutions. Data and studies have shown the effectiveness of preventive emotional and behavioral care. "We know it makes a difference, we don't have to guess," Miller said. ACAP's Jones said his organization has been putting the word out about the Nurturing Parenting program in schools and care centers, and parents who want to learn more or to register can contact Emma Jean Okusky at 518-420-6808 or at eokusky@acapinc.org. "We've been in emergency response mode for a year, and there hasn't been time to process the stress," Miller said. "There is absolutely no shame in seeking help for yourself, your child and your family."

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